Lately, I can't seem to get out of my own way. I feel like I can't stay on top of my life, whether it's the house or Jay or friends or dinner or whatever the need of the moment is. Every little thing sets me off. It doesn't help that tomorrow is May, the month of the Fontan. I bounce between angry and sad and both make me cry. It doesn't help that I'm pretty rough on myself for not being able to keep it all together.

Last week, we got a new car. We had been talking for a while of getting something bigger, since there was no way to fit anyone in the back seat of the Focus with Sammy's carseat in. Long story short, Focus was in rough shape and I ended up trading it in for a Fusion. Love it.

Flash forward to today: took a corner too sharp to avoid a car who was coming around a corner too fast and came into my lane to avoid the buses taking up half of his lane. Made it about a mile before I realized: flat tire. On the new car I was already paying enough for. Hello, meltdown.

Thank god I was meeting my friend and her daughter for lunch. She took over Sammy duty while I made calls. She came over to check on us while we were still waiting for Roadside Assistance and then graciously covered my butt so I would have cash to tip the guy (who refused the tip anyway).

Turns out, there was a major accident right at the intersection I had driven through, not moments after I had driven through it. So very thankful we have just a flat, as it could have been much, much worse. And the tire won't cost as much as I thought it would to repair (though more than I had planned on spending when I woke up this morning!) and he had to get it from another dealer - which bought me an hour at home so a very overtired Sammy could nap.

One of these days - I'm thinking post-surgery? - I will get back to being able to cope with the little things in life. I should probably go a little easier on myself. I'm just grateful for the support system - and the little gifts from the universe - keeping me from going over the edge until then, even if I don't say it or show it.