So Sammy was on the porch playing while I sat on the couch in the other room, folding some laundry.

And it got very, very quiet.

I peeked in and saw what looked like Sammy with his nose pressed against the window. How cute! I thought. He's looking at the snow!

And then I got closer and saw that he was licking the window.

Now, I get that the window is very, very cold and it's probably a new sensation for him. BUT, the windows are insanely old and the frames likely have lead paint under a layer or two.

I called out his name, and he jumped and turned around.

"Mama!" he exclaimed with a touch of anger and irritation. "Go COUCH!"

Excuuuuuuuuuuuse me? I catch him doing something he shouldn't be doing, and HE'S telling ME what to do? And in THAT tone? WTF?

He grabbed my hand and pushed me back towards the living room. I went back in and pretended like was sitting down, and sure enough, the moment he thought I was out of sight, he started with the nose against the window, very clearly going to do the very thing I JUST told him not to.

Shit. I've seen fairly large chunks of the terrible twos pushing through his personality over the past few days, moments of Sammy exerting his free will - but this? This telling mama what to do, this telling me to get out of the way so he can go back to what he shouldn't be doing, this tone? This is new. And this? Means we're screwed.

Interesting times are clearly ahead, my friends, and this mama is so not prepared. Oy.