Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Jay's Christmas party. It was Suannah who spiked the punch with too much gin & tonic. I can't help it if I drank 35 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like lemon.

I thought it was funny when I put Jessie's hippie skirt on my head and danced the tango on the couch while singing `Broken Arrow'. I didn't mean to break Jay's PDA and don't know why Jay would sue me for robbery.

I don't remember calling Reilly's wife a fruity monkey---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and teal lipstick!

And when I threw up on Alisa's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that donut.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my John Deere through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a silly kitty and have me arrested for jaywalking!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all sloppy and miserable. And I'm really not to blame for any of this empty stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and happily yours,
Erika (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 99 bucks!