Lately, I can't seem to get out of my own way. I feel like I can't stay on top of my life, whether it's the house or Jay or friends or dinner or whatever the need of the moment is. Every little thing sets me off. It doesn't help that tomorrow is May, the month of the Fontan. I bounce between angry and sad and both make me cry. It doesn't help that I'm pretty rough on myself for not being able to keep it all together.

Last week, we got a new car. We had been talking for a while of getting something bigger, since there was no way to fit anyone in the back seat of the Focus with Sammy's carseat in. Long story short, Focus was in rough shape and I ended up trading it in for a Fusion. Love it.

Flash forward to today: took a corner too sharp to avoid a car who was coming around a corner too fast and came into my lane to avoid the buses taking up half of his lane. Made it about a mile before I realized: flat tire. On the new car I was already paying enough for. Hello, meltdown.

Thank god I was meeting my friend and her daughter for lunch. She took over Sammy duty while I made calls. She came over to check on us while we were still waiting for Roadside Assistance and then graciously covered my butt so I would have cash to tip the guy (who refused the tip anyway).

Turns out, there was a major accident right at the intersection I had driven through, not moments after I had driven through it. So very thankful we have just a flat, as it could have been much, much worse. And the tire won't cost as much as I thought it would to repair (though more than I had planned on spending when I woke up this morning!) and he had to get it from another dealer - which bought me an hour at home so a very overtired Sammy could nap.

One of these days - I'm thinking post-surgery? - I will get back to being able to cope with the little things in life. I should probably go a little easier on myself. I'm just grateful for the support system - and the little gifts from the universe - keeping me from going over the edge until then, even if I don't say it or show it.

3 boxes of Honey Bunches of Oats
1 box of Kashi Go Lean
1 box of Kashi TLC Oatmeal cookies
2 bottles of Palmolive Antibacterial dish soap
2 bottles of Vive Pro Smooth Intense Shampoo
2 packages of Stayfree Ultrathins
2 pacakges Carefree
2 packages of 3-bar Irish Spring soap
1 14lb container of Tidy Cats Scoop litter
2 boxes L'Oreal Preference hair color (Intense Red Copper, in case you were wondering)
2 6oz containers of Blue Diamond almonds
1 Colgate whitening
1 Maybelline Mineral Power foundation
1 Maybelline Mineral Power blush

Considering I got everything for less than the cost of the makeup and the haircolor, I'd say that I made out pretty well. Will update later with links to sales & coupons, but now? I need to get my brain out of CVS mode and into Sammy mode!

Running a few errands today.

1. Memory Game for Sammy, plus hopefully a cymbal set (his latest musical addiction):$5 off $25 at Toys R Us. Expires tomorrow.
2. A new plant stand: 50% off one item at Michael's. Expires today.
3. More than I can list at Home Depot, including lumber, screen doors, ceiling fans, light fixtures, etc: 10% off coupon from ebay. If you have a large purchase, you can often ask for a discount at the Customer Service desk. Depending on the person and their mood, they will often give you a break - usually 10%, from what I hear.
4. New rugs for bathroom floor, new garbage can - 2 of these $10 off $30 at Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons. Expire tomorrow.
5. $5 off any purchase at Kohls - sign up for their email alert list. One coupon per email address.

Seriously - if you have to buy stuff, why pay full price? A quick google search will usually turn up a coupon or two that you can use to say a few bucks! If you're a AAA member, check out their site - there are usually a few deals you can find there (including a $10/$50 or 10% entire purchase coupon for Linens n Things).

First things first: Remember, today is the last day to sign up for your free $25 (or $60, if your spouse/partner signs up through you). Thanks to everyone who signed up through me - they don't send name-specific emails, so I don't know who signed up. If you haven't signed up yet, do it!

EDITED: They've extended it to May 15! So - sign up, and then refer all your friends and make some easy money!

Now for the real "post", as rambly as it may be:

Recently, I've tried making some real steps towards reducing our footprint. As Sammy is becoming more and more aware of things, and more and more capable of understanding things, I've really started examining what we do and what I want him to learn. And since kids learn from example...

We've always recycled, but I'm looking forward to setting up a "real" recycling center in the house, with compartments for paper, glass and plastics, and making more of an effort to buy things with as little packaging as possible. One thing I would love to do, once we're post-surgery and my head is out of my ass, is really research where our food comes from and make a considerable effort to buy as local as possible. We've already signed up for the local CSA, and I'm looking forward to taking trips to the farm with Sammy so he can begin to understand that food doesn't just magically appear. I'm hoping, now that he's older, we can really have a fruitful garden out back as well. We had a great summer of composting before Sammy was born; I'd like to get back to that. I also need to get off my butt and reserve a rain barrel before they're all gone again. We would use that water to water the grass and garden, rather than from the hose - reducing our use AND our water bill!

I've become a tad bit obsessed with "money saving" blogs. There's a whole world out there of people who can feed families of four on $40 a week. I swear, we spend that on milk alone for Sammy. Still, it's made me really aware of how unnecessarily frivolous we can be. Throw in the recent hunger riots happening - my eyes have really been opened to how much we waste. I'm not sure how much I can do for the global effort, but I do truly believe that little changes at home can have a wonderful snowball effect. At least that's what I hope. One thing I do feel bad about - we've always used disposable diapers. We've used Seventh Generation, so there's less processing, but in the end, they still end up in landfills. And I don't feel that our other efforts balance this out. Guilt, guilt, guilt.

I'm also a huge fan of freecycle, which you probably already know. It really upsets me to think back to college, when there was a huge dumpster outside our townhouse and we would just toss whatever we didn't want or need. How much of that will still be sitting around somewhere, wasted, leaking crap into the (already threatened) water supply? How much of that could have lived a second, or third, or even fourth life with someone else? How much of it could have been recycled?

I am really starting to see how much easier it is to maintain a house when the only things in it are things we truly need (or truly want and appreciate). I've learned that memories will still exist without the things I've attached to those memories. Do I still have a box of Sammy's infant clothes? Hell yeah. But the most of them have been freecycled, and the other junk I've held on to for years just because? Most of it is gone. There is no need for it - the clutter is more than just taking up space in our house - it, I believe, truly clutters up our psyche as well.

It's rather freeing to make these small changes, and it's important to me that Sammy learn the importance of taking care of the Earth and the community around him. I want him to understand that he is a part of something much larger than himself. He's already grasped the "we're giving this toy to someone else who needs/wants it" idea, and he seems to rarely get attached to "things", which makes me feel good. Of course, he's only 2 and so much can change, but I'm hoping that by living these values every day, he will live them as well.

Looking to make some quick money, maybe a little something extra for a little splurge?

Step one: Sign up at Revolution Money Exchange. They're looking to become bigger than paypal. It's completely legit, backed by a bank, FDIC insured, yadda yadda. They're trying to create competition for paypal. It DOES ask for your SSN, but I truly believe it's safe - again, I've spent a couple of months eyeing it all and reading up on the site.

The $25 will be in your account almost immediately, but you need to sign up before April 15. You can also refer friends and earn $10 per referral, but the accounts need to be created by April 15th as well. You can have them cut you a check or have it transferred to your bank account. Click the button above to sign up. I thank you in advance for the $10 referral. :-) (Did I mention that the money is there almost instantly?)

MAKE MORE: Sign up, then have your husband/wife/partner sign up through you. Total - $60 ($25 each, $10 bonus).

Step two: Go sign up for a free Etrade Complete Savings Account. $25 will be deposited into your account after opening with a minimum deposit of $1. If you maintain the account, you will (currently) earn 3.01% APR. Not too shabby for free money!

MAKE MORE: Sign up yourself, your husband/wife/partner, your kids. Can't hurt to have a savings account for your kid, right?

And if you're not reading Money Saving Mom, you really should be.